Lost Her...

Finding it hard to breath
I Cant catch my words
I’m letting go of my hand
And falling to my knees

Theirs voices crowding me
Telling me things will be ok
Everything will work out
With a happy ending they say

I try and watch her going away
Everyone’s faces are blocking the way
Speaking tragically with no sound
Holding me down

Finding it hard to breath
I scream out with all my lungs
Braking free violently
To the window my fingertips are clung

"She needs space, she needs time" they move on
And then she speeds up
I watch the rain outside batter down
The noise creates my mind to corrupt

Iv actually lost her
Lost all I live for
I sing slowly to a song
Although I have done right by letting her move on
Il be spending the next of my life regretting this moment
Wishing I could turn back time
Distraught its already started I’m still thinking WHY
Wishing over and over that again some day she will be mine
And just like they say
We will have our happy ending

Hurt me

Swollen eyes
from sorrowed cries.
In the "lowest pits" is where my heart lies
because I've hurt you
which was never my intention to do.
I just wanted to love you
to be loved
to be hugged
to be a part of you and what you go through.
to be the love you deem true
But i know I SUCK

~Plz take me back, i will change i SWEAR TO GOD
i miss you so much love~

Shattered Dreams

I'm alone in my room
The music is blasting
All I hear is my heart
The regular beat should steady me
It only frightens me
I look on the table
A knife, some foils, a cigarette and a lighter
What will it be today?
I'm left with the mistakes
Haunting my every move
How could I have fucked up so bad again?
I think about the promises I've made
A tear falls
Why did I let myself fall into this?
My mind drifts away
Leaving me there, alone again
Searching for a happy memory
Something to pull me out of this
I'm so scared
Instead of happiness
My thoughts move to suicide
Who needs me anyway?
They’re better of without me
A sip of water
The capsules are gone
Slowly a cool blade slides on my skin
I see the blood and smile
Holding a screw over the open flame
Press it against me feeling the burn
I cry…tomorrow it starts again

Sick of life

Its not the end of the world isn’t it ?

Cheer Up....

When you are dwelling in the darkness and you can't see the light
Remember to fight for your heart's delight.
When you feel worthless and in pain,
Remember your life isn't in vain.
If you've had enough of this life, ask yourself why
why doesn't a day go by
without a cry?

Look deep in yourself to find meaning
what is the darkness, go and start some cleaning.
If the darkness is too deep and there's nothing you can see
Try to look through it, as there are people who want to be
There for you in hard and happy times
So blurt it out.
People can give you more than you expect
There are many among us who will treat you with respect.

Little Red Ridding Hood / Drugged version

Once upon a time, there was a litter girl whose street name is Little Red. She was sent to prison when she was three years old for drug trafficking. Now that shes out of the joint, she continues on her selling of drugs, but this time she was careful. She baked some brownies with pot as an extra ingredient, cookies with heroine, cupcakes with joints that look like candles, and sundaes full of amphetamines. She was on her way to her grandmother's house because if she doesn't supply ol' Granny with the "sweets", Granny will call social services and tell them that her parents are abusive, her dad is drunk like a fish, and rapes her. Although that is not true, she must please ol' Granny. She picks up the "snacks," sticks them into the picnic basket, and goes out the door.

On the way to Granny's house, she encounters The Big Bad Druggie. The Big Bad Druggie comes up to her and says,

"Why Lil' Red, those 'treats' smell mighty good!"

"For the last time, they are not for you, they are my old granny," Little Red said.

"What does that old hag want to do with drug contaminated baked goods anyway?" The Big Bad Druggie snarled. That was when Little Red got mad. She got out her pepper spray and sprayed him straight in the face.

"You can't hurt my eyes, they're glass eyes!" The Big Bad Druggie said, and cornered Little Red up in the alley, and up to a brick wall. Then Little Red remembered about how to defend herself in prison that one time and kicked The Big Bad Druggie square in the balls and then in the stomach. The Big Bad Druggie fell to the ground coughing up blood from the blow to the balls and Little Red ran out of the alley and onto Granny's house.

"This is not the last of me!" The Big Bad Druggie yelled out at Little Red. Although it was still a long walk to Granny's house, Little Red would make it by sundown.

The Big Bad Druggie had another idea. He got into his beat up, rust-bucket, junkyard car and backfired himself out into Granny's house. He had a plan to get those "treats." He will tie up Granny down in the cellar, and get to those treats. He finally got to Granny's house and when he got out, he slammed his door shut and the car fell apart into pieces.

"I don't care," the Druggie thought, "I'll steal some stupid kid's bike instead." He barged into Granny's house, took her down into the cellar and tied her up. He dressed up in Granny's clothes that are in the closet, got into her favorite chair and started to watch TV.

When Little Red finally arrived at Granny's house, she saw that pile of junk sitting on the curb and thought to herself,

"I got to remind Granny to throw away all that junk."

When she opened the door she saw "Granny" sitting in the chair, watching TV. She sat down and took her "goodies" out of her basket. Granny started to grab the treats and gobbled them up. After a little, "Granny" stopped for a second, belched, and quoted fagot,

"Mmm, mmm, bitch!"

And continued on eating the "treats." Little Red was surprised with "Granny's" foul language and said,

"My Granny, what a dirty mouth you have!" "It was never cleaned since I was born, I mean {clearing throat} I think it's because of my dentures, dear," Granny said. Then something else rose Little Red's curiosity.

"My Granny what big, hairy, ugly face you have!" Again "Granny" quoted fagot,

"I'm rich, bitch! Can't you see I can afford plastic surgery, shit! I mean, {clearing throat} I think it's old age sweet heart. I'm sorry, I think I have turret's syndrome."

"It's okay, Granny," Little Red replied " I know that's a sickness." All of the sudden, Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, busts through the door and says,

"Croikey, there's the Great American Druggie right in that chair. Now, be careful, he looks dangerous." Then Little Red jumps up and screams,

"Oh my god, you're not Granny, you're the Big Bad Druggie!"

"That's right, bitch," The Big Bad Druggie bellowed, "and now you must give give me the rest of 'dem "treats" of yours!" Steve Irwin took out a blowgun and shot the Big Bad Druggie with a dart.

"Oww, what the hell did you do, {groaning} I feel woozy." and falls to the floor tranquilized.

"Don't worry mate, we'll take great care of this man," Steve said as he brought in the Police to drag the Big Bad Druggie out to Rehab, where he won't escape until he is cured of his sickness of being a druggie. Then Little Red found Granny and she had the last of Little Red's "treats" until Granny died of OD.

PS : not my very own, but edited lots of places :)

Tagged...?

OH oH Oh I have been Noticed by DarkAngeL and s[u]jau

So let’s see how I answer…. Here I go……

Three things I can't do

1. wake the dead
2. Walk in the sea
3. fartin *eye rollin….

Yea and…. Wats next…. Three things I can do… argh u guyz really wanna know this.. dumboo..

1. lie
2. can play guiter….
3. Sleeeeep …. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

hehe and wats next…. Three things that scare me ….

1. Sifain
2. being caught
3. *cant think any more*

3 thingggs I hate …

1. Racism
2. maumoon
3. Hypocrites


Taadaa… I em Done…


I em gonna tag angel, Thom and Angel in Debt

Sorry.....

Iam sorry for the pain you go through
Iam sorry that nobody's helping you
Iam sorry your alone
and that nobody talks to you on the phone

You can but that blame on me

Iam sorry for the thing that happened to you in the past
and for the things that happened last
Im sorry it wont repeat
I will take the blame for that to

Iam sorry for those who live all alone
I couldn't imagine living on my own
without you around hell NO
Iam sorry for the things you been through
just runaway and ill run to

ill take the blame for you

what the fuck is love ?

What is love, we all experience it in one way or another, but we throw the word around so haphazardly that it's true meaning has been lost to us. In literal terms love would be the antonym of hate. Existing only where hate doesn't. But how many times do we find ourselves the oxy-moronic state of a love-hate relationship? And what do we truly love? I love my family, But I also love the pungent taste of lime while reading a good book. Factually, love is what you place above all other things. I love my freedom, but I love the power to control others, also. We often find ourselves in these situations. But don't take the time to force ourselves to notice that we make absolutely no sense from the third party perspective.

How do we choose what to love, it seems to be a prodigious burden that we carry without notice. But I have noticed, as I'm sure others have. And it irks me to believe that I can only have one true love. Will it be the woman I marry? Or will it be the children my wife and I create, and which one would it be? What are the likelihoods of my true love, being truly in love with me?
the only logical solution to this would be to select and inanimate object or subject which cannot display emotion as we as human beings have so eloquently mastered.

How will I know when I have stumbled upon my love? Will it be optically visible, or will my state of mind suddenly shift? And how will I know if this change in perspective is from a newly acquired love, or just a delusion created by a mixture of misbalanced chemicals streaming through my head. Or is that love? A chemical imbalance due to a sudden emotionally traumatic experience with something or someone.

In truth I do not know if I believe in love. I have debated with myself on this matter for many days now, and can only come to the conclusion; that love is false. Anyone can fall out of love, if you are separated long enough from anything you will eventually begin to forget what you saw that was so beautiful in it.

In a way, it goes against our nature to love or be attached. We were created, or we evolved, to breed, and continually breed, to populate our planet into or until extinction. Where in that process did we find it necessary to find love? Yet one of our carnal desires is to find a mate, to live and breed our descendants with. Is love what sets us apart from the animals of our world? Is love the deciding factor between man and beast? Or do our animals themselves love. Take the cat for example; is it love, loyalty or sheer instinct that keeps them by our sides? I am not a scientist, Bit I feel that our canine companions stick with us because they are raised from birth with us, and they know no other way of living. The cat doesn't find itself a life partner, we find it a mate, that they may breed with; and label it boyfriend/girlfriend to ease our own socialistic instincts that everyone must have a life mate. But if they were allowed to live by their will, they would be fucking everything within sight!

Maybe we should take a look at ourselves and realize that love goes far beyond our nature, and that we were meant to breed, live the same as animals. But we don't, we believe that we are the conquerors of the world, and therefore we are deserving of more complicated emotions. But why?